Why Is This Battle Taking So Long?
by Ninstation X
Summary: Think you can keep up with a Naruto-style battle? Find out if you can guess what happens next.
1. Chapter 1

Think you can keep up with what's happening in Naruto Battles?

-Begin!-

"What a lovely day!" Naruto said as he walked through the forest.

5 seconds later, Naruto is face down on the ground with his foot half blown off.

-A Generic Ninja appears-

"Foolish boy, you've fell right into my trap!" howled the Generic Ninja. "By lacing the ground with the chakra from my foot, I'm able to blow up whatever is on the ground. Hahahaha."

-Naruto poofs away in a cloud of smoke. It was a shadow clone! D:-

"What? No way!" said GN.

"Yes way," said Naruto from the shadows. "Walking through the forest was all a part of my plan to encounter ninjas! I have my shadow clones go in first, and I wait behind the trees."

-Naruto comes up from behind and smacks the Generic Ninja in the head. ...The head falls off. GN's body poofs away-

"Haha," laughed GN from the shadows. "I knew when I waited to ambush people in this forest that someone would try to provoke me to attack them, so I sent out a shadow clone to make them think it's me but it's not me."

-GN, from the shadows, throws knives at Naruto in the trees-

"THIS WILL END IT!" howls GN.

-1 minute before the knives collide with Naruto, they reflect back-

"What? No way! x2," screamed GN.

-Just then, the knives reflect back to Naruto-

"What?" cried Naruto.

"I planned this too or something. My chakra did it."

"No way, he's tough!" snarled Naruto. "Time to try something drastic and stupid. SUPER JUTSU SPECIAL BALL!"

-Naruto charges to GN and collides. There's a big explosion-

"Yeah! I got him!" said Naruto.

"No, I got you! 30 seconds before you (and your ball?) collided with me, I ate a steroid pill. I'm saved!" said the now beefy Generic Ninja.

"You know I'm going to be hokage, right?"

"Okay."

"Aren't you going to ridicule me now?"

"No, I respect people's dreams."

"Oh." (-Inside Naruto's mind- "Darn, he didn't make fun of me. Now I can't get emotional and go into my super fox mode, but there's always _that_ move that I'm not supposed to do, but what the heck, I'm going to do 'cus it's italicized.")

"Get ready, now I'm serious!" yelled Naruto.

"Liar," sneered GN. "You've been serious this whole time. You're just trying to act cool."

"Enough of this," said Naruto. "_THAT_ MOVE ACTIVATE NOW!"

-Everything in a 5 mile radius blows up-

Naruto is seen half-dead, lying on the ground.

"Did I get him?"

"Nope," said GN calmly.

"But how is that possible?!"

"I did something with chakra again. I'm going to call it 'Body Chakra Strengthener.'"

"That doesn't even make any logical sense how you didn't get hurt in that blow."

"It makes _Ninjacal_ sense."

"..."

"This is the end of the line for you." -GN pulls out some _deadly_ string and throws it at Naruto in slow motion-

-1 second before the string collides with Naruto, it slightly misses-

"Whoops, the wind was being a bit unruly. Next time is the charm!" cheerily said GN.

-The string goes towards Naruto again and .5 seconds before it hits, smoke appears-

"What happened!?" yelled GN.

"I used my chakra to make smoke and to stop being half-dead," Naruto said with pride.

"Ch..che...cheater!"

"What?! You did it too, and I didn't complain!"

"Yes, you did cheat!"

"I'm going to be hokage!"

"Yes, if you try hard, you can do anything."

"Don't make fun of me!!"

"...But I didn't."

-flashback of Naruto's bad childhood-

...blahblahblah.

-end flashback-

"...and that's why I won't lose!" screamed Naruto.

"Good," said GN. "Motivation is good for the youth."

"I'll make you pay!" Naruto said as he charged GN.

"Ya know, I had a hard life, too. But nobody cares about how the 'bad guy' feels. :("

-GN charges Naruto-

**Let's speed up the rest of the battle.**

-Dramatic fight. GN gets decapitated, and it looks like the end. ...no wait, he had a spare head, and it was put back on with his chakra flow. Then Naruto gets hurt and ..NO wait! It was a shadow clone which ate the real GN who went inside the fake Naruto and went down on the floor and charged chakra to go inside and aaaahhhhhhhhhhh-

5 episodes later.

"This is the end for you!" screamed Naruto. -The attack fails-

"This is the end for you!" screamed GN. -The attack fails-

"This is the ender for you!" screamed Naruto. -The attack fails-

"This is the endester for you!" screamed GN. -The attack fails-

"I don't understand how we're still alive after all of this!" screamed Naruto.

"Well, blaming everything on chakra is a good way to draw out battles for many episodes, so that's why," screamed GN. "Now, I'll reveal to you my master plan on how this will definitely be the end for you. Mwahahahahaha."

"...Did I mention I'm going to be hokage?"

"..."

To Be Continued.


	2. Definitely The End For You!

"I remember back in my home life," started GN. "I was a boy with a magical gift I knew I had to share with the world..."

"Wait, so this isn't going to be the end for me then?" asked Naruto. "You're just going to flashback for an episode?"

"Or three."

"...Isn't that kind of getting people's hopes up for nothing?"

"I guess so."

"It's pretty much you lying to them and then throwing unnecessary dribble at them."

"Again, I guess so."

To Be Continued.


	3. After the Flashback

3 episodes later.

"...And that's why I dedicated my life to evil," Generic Ninja said with dignity. "And you will perish!"

"Oh No!" Naruto shouted as GN rushed over with some random, pointy object.

-.045 seconds before the pointy object would pierce Naruto's skull, Naruto remembered some meaningful words. Too bad words don't deflect pointy objects-

-Naruto's skull is pierced, and he dies. Unless he did something with chakra. ...no, blood is pouring out really fast, he's probably dead-

The End.


	4. Thought This Was Over?

"Thought this battle was over?!" said Naruto as GN looked back and gasped. "I'm only almost dead, not completely dead."

"Um, you can't beat me or something, cus you're almost but not completely dead," replied Generic Ninja.

"That's what you think. Get a load of what happens when I think of some more inspirational words."

"Your chakra is rising! Amazing. I could have just 100 percent finished you off instead of just slowly starting to walk away before, but I didn't, and who knew this would have happened because of it?!?!"

"Yeah, you could have. But apparently, being a ninja requires being cocky and **always **underestimating your opponent."

"Yep," GN agreed.

"Now prepare yourself for my _Super Friendship Ultra Ninjacal Maneuver_!" Naruto said as he charged forward in slow motion.

After a big explosion, both GN and Naruto are laying on the ground. Naruto is half-dead, but GN is a little more than half-dead, he's half-deader.

"H-how did you beat me?" asked GN.

"Cus I have friends," replied Naruto.

"So do I."

"Mine are better though."

"My friend lost his arm saving me from drowning," replied GN.

"Mine are better though."

"How?!"

"Cus I'm gonna be Hokage!"

The Ender End.


End file.
